London is one of the busiest cities in the world, and yet many of the people who come to see me describe feeling deeply alone. As the evenings draw in and the festive season approaches, that loneliness can become harder to ignore. If this is something you recognise, I want you to know it is far more common than it might seem, and it is something we can explore together.
Loneliness is not the same as being alone
Some people live full, sociable lives and still feel lonely. Others spend a lot of time on their own and feel quite content. In my experience, loneliness is less about how many people are around us and more about whether we feel truly seen and understood. You might notice it as:
feeling on the outside of conversations, even with friends
a sense that nobody really knows the “real” you
dreading weekends, evenings or holidays
keeping busy so you don’t have to feel it
Why it can feel stronger at this time of year
Shorter days, colder weather and the build-up to Christmas can bring loneliness to the surface. There can be a pressure to feel joyful and connected, and when that isn’t our experience it is easy to assume something is wrong with us. Changes such as a move to London, a separation, a bereavement or children leaving home can also leave us feeling unanchored.
Listening to the heart, not just the mind
Through my Heart and Mind model, I help clients notice the difference between the busy, often critical voice of the mind and their deeper sense of self. When we feel lonely, the mind can be harsh, telling us we are unlikeable or that others don’t care. Learning to step back from that voice, and to listen to what the heart actually needs, can be a gentle and powerful first step towards connection.
How therapy can help
Therapy offers a consistent, confidential space where you are listened to without judgement. Together we can look at what lies beneath your loneliness, how past relationships may shape the way you connect now, and what small, realistic steps might help you feel less alone.
Taking the first step
If loneliness is weighing on you, I offer individual psychotherapy from my consulting room in Marylebone, near Harley Street, London, as well as online. Sessions are 50 minutes and we begin with an initial consultation. You are welcome to call, text or WhatsApp me on 07786 488 766, or email emma@emmadashwoodpsychotherapy.com.
Therapy is not an emergency service. If you are struggling to cope, please contact NHS 111, Samaritans free on 116 123, or call 999 in an emergency.
